Every time I couldn't make a decision due to confusion, I think I should ask myself this question: Is it because "I don't know how to do it" , or "I actually don't want to do it" ?

What if he is already married? What if he is not a single man? What if he chooses a different belief than mine? What if he has a different perspective of gender-attractiveness? You know...the guy who is not only interested in one gender only... What if he left me once he got to know me better—like the other guy did? I am broken, vulnerable, still have no dream, still in the process of pulling myself together day by day, not pretty enough, not good enough, not rich enough (no, even definitely not rich at all), not slim at all—more like obese due to stress, anxiety, and depression. What if all of the signals that I caught all this time were not about me at all? What if I just lived only in my head after all these times? What if I become so stupid as to think that...gosh, never mind. No matter how many 'what-ifs' in the cloud right now, I will not forget that I have ever caught the  "otaknya nyetrum" . Am I suitable enough to be his team-mate of life? What if...I will ge...

"When you love someone, just be brave to say that you want him to be with you." No, I am not. I am not that brave. Just let it fly in the air. Let the thoughts and love fill the air. Besides, I still have a dozen questions in my mind, though.